2001-10-25 - 2:17 p.m.
i'm very tired and i have nothing to say, but "my academic year planner" commands me to write a journal entry at this time, so here i go.
i just made about eighty thousand flash cards with words like "lienomesenteric vein" and "pancreaticomesenteric vein" on them. there's no way i'm going to remember how to spell that on the test. half a point off, i guess.
So.
The semester is going pretty well. (Notice that I've shifted to capitalizing here. I don't know why.) I'm horridly busy, always rushing every which way. I feel like I'm always at work. In the moments of free time that I have, playing NetHack and
reading have been my pasttimes of choice, instead of writing. So my writing has probably suffered.
Right now I'm at work and things are busy. Lots of problems with the computers this morning that the techs are running around trying to fix. I feel weird not being considered a tech at this job.
um... it's hard to summarize life. i mean, it's simple in that i've mostly just been working and going to school and reading and sleeping. but there are all those little things. like my dad's heart problems and my sister's pituitary gland problems. and my annoyances with health insurance. my plan had a $500 prescription drug cap. that's $500 per academic year. my meds cost around $375 a month. so i ran out pretty soon. however, stuff has been worked out and hopefully i'll be able to be declared a full time student because of disability even though i'm only going half time, and thereby get back on my father's insurance, which would be wonderful.
i've also been pondering things like love and need and stuff lately. trying to reevaluate things in my life. but it's hard. how do you decide if you love someone or not? there's just no easy test. and with my history of obsession and codependancy, it's hard to distinguish those things from love a lot of the time. it's even harder if love might be intertwined with those things and you have to try to separate it out.
these are the kinds of things that keep me sitting in the shower, under the hot water, thinking, for long periods of time until my neighbors knock on the bathroom door.
so... um...
i was bitten by a shark.
granted, i was hacking its mouth open with dissecting scissors, but still....
no, the shark was not alive. the shark, who i've named Kali, after the Hindu goddess, is very very dead. also very oily. and has many rows of sharp teeth that i snagged my finger on.
and now my shift is about up. maybe i'll write again in the next six months.
