2002-07-29 - 11:37 PM
Is it weird that I like the smell of my own B.O.? I guess it must not be too weird because Keith likes it too. He likes mine, that is, not his own. It is supposed to have all those pheromones and stuff in it.
Since the last time Tony was here, which was Friday night, I've been missing him a lot. Things are kind of unbelievably good with him right now, considering that they were so bad not long ago and there are still so many problems. We're just not talking about them and are being extra patient with each other. We're not constantly bickering like we usually do.
Anyway, on Friday night he came over drunk, but in a very endearing way. Open and affectionate. We had sex, of course, but, being drunk, he couldn't cum and we stopped after not too long because we were both tired and we both knew it was hopeless for him. So afterward, we were laying there not talking and he was holding me with my head on his chest (which is actually rather uncomfortable for me, but I do it because it seems to make him feel good somehow) and I was playing with his balls because he likes that, and he just suddenly said, "Right now I feel at peace."
And that made me feel really gratified because it's something that's so utterly unlike him to say or feel. And I know him being drunk had something to do with it, but I also know that I had something to do with it as well.
However, I did not appreciate him waking me up in the middle of the night, all over me, and finally biting my chest really hard, which, if I had been in the mood, I would have found quite nice, but, being as I was sleepy and annoyed, made me shriek in a very non-sexy way, turn away from him, and say, "I just don't feel like it." Whereupon, he said, "Okay," and presumably fell asleep again, if he had ever really woken up in the first place. He sometimes tends to wake me up having sex with me and not coming really awake until we're well into it. This lead each of us to believe for the first year or so that we were together, that the other one was the one instigating things in the middle of the night. However, it was him, not me.
So anyway.
I didn't end up with bruises all over my torso, like I usually do after he's come over. The sex was gentler than usual, though we still didn't kiss much on the lips. We rarely do. I did most of the work this time too, which contributed to the lack of bruises. I guess his teeth can reach my chest better if he's on top.
Things are tiring right now. But when are they not? Physics and work and trying to even get up the energy to pack for my move. Didn't do anything this weekend on that front. Saturday during the day was largely whittled away sitting around her talking and laughing with Tony. Then I went down to the Willie St. Co-op because I didn't have anything to munch on that didn't require cooking, and it was so hot. So I got mangos and dried pineapple and baby carrots and lettuce and dried apricots and chips and salsa. And then I sat around the rest of the night and watched my Saturday night tv shows� oh, and then I wrote in my journal. I'd forgotten about that.
Sunday I went to see the Crocodile Hunter movie with Keith, which is the best movie ever made! I swear. We almost laughed our asses right off our bodies. And then we ate Chinese food and then he went home and I went to the LGBTCC because it was hot and muggy outside and my apartment was a sauna and the CC has air conditioning. I fell asleep on the couch there for a few hours and played on the computers and got absolutely no work done. I went home around nine. And then I did laundry and studied for today's exam for the rest of the night.
Now my hand is all cramped up.
